Recently broke up with my partner of 10 years. It was my choice, but it still sucks. He had been putting his life and happiness on hold bc of family problems and I, essentially was also putting my life and happiness on hold for him. It came to the point where I had to make a choice, keep waiting until his fam situation was over or choose to live my life and happiness without him. It was my toughest decision ever but Im working through it. Since, he has said he wants the same ending as me. Most of me whats to believe him and that he can move on with me. I often wonder whether I’ll ever love another as deeply and fully as I do love him. I feel guilty moving on and giving up on us. I wonder if after the romance and passion die down if companionship and commitment is all there is. If thats the case, then have I given up on all that will always be left? I most sad about losing my best friend, the connection with that someone who knows you almost as much as you know yourself, the witness to your life. Idk if there will be a time where he’d be able to actually move on WITH me so I’ve chosen to move on without him. But it still feels awful and confusing. Help B!
Denise
Hi Denise,
You were with your partner for 10years that means you’ve shared a lot together and for 10years like you said you were with your best friend. I cannot tell you whether it’s right or wrong that you ended it, but I will tell you that life as you’ve known it for 10years is about to change!
Part of ending this relationship is you taking control of your own life & moving forward. If you continue to look back you will continue to be held back. There is a chance your Ex will also work towards the same things you want but they have not been able to do that in 10years with you. It’s sad to say but maybe without being together you can both have what you want in life. Not to mention Denise, if you have been together for 10 years and don’t feel like his family is your family & want to help them as much as him-then yea, it’s probably best you ended things.
All jokes aside it’s normal to reflect on your relationship but you must start living the life you left to have. It does not include hemming & hawing over a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. Who knows maybe you guys will end up being friends. Take comfort in knowing you can always go back to that life that was holding you back, nothing is stopping you except you future without them!
B
